He uses pillows to masturbate.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The best revenge is premature balding
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
