Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
There's even glitter on my cock...
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