Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
