really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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