im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
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