I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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