I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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