Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize