Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize