this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
