I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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