he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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