PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
