I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
