My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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