I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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