It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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