u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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