I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize