is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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