I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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