I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
