A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
