I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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