Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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