yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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