Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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