would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
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