sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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