It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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