theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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