I think my vagina is haunted
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
