do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
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Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
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Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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