i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
