i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
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Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
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The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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