I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
