i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
