some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
