you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
My vagina is very pro this idea
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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