we made out on top of his cat.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
