I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
