i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
