i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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