What a fucking waste of an outfit
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
