what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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