I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
