I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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