i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
