id be glad to
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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