Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
false alarm, still single
Randomize
