Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
