Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
