We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
