I've blown a few things in my day
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
