I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
