i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
