the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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