This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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