Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
