the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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