so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
