Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
